10 May 2011

Pronoun purgatory.

I have to write my midterm Croatian exam tomorrow.  I'm studying hard to keep my cases straight, and learning new vocabulary at the speed of light, and trying to remember when k changes to c and when a singular masculine noun is alive vs not alive, etc.  I can store most of this stuff nicely in my brain, but I've got a block when it comes to pronouns.  Seriously.  Don't ask me why I can't remember these things.  The pronouns in Croatian are a bit of a handful.  In English they are pretty easy to keep straight:  I, me, my, theirs, them, his, him, etc.  Simple stuff.  And I study them in Croatian.  Really really study them.  And I feel super confident when I sit down to write a test...and then it happens.  Whammo-bammo, the pronoun section of my brain goes out for coffee and leaves something useless in its place, like a pop tune or an old jingle.

So here's what's going on in my head as I'm trying to write the pronoun section of the exam:

Me:    Alright pronouns! I know this stuff like the back of my hand. Let's see, second person plural locative.
Brain:  we're sorry, all our operators are busy; please hold the line
Me:  okay don't panic, I'll just go to the next one.  Hmm, this one needs third person singular masculine in the accusative.  No problem.  I know this one, it goes like...
Brain:  YMCA, it's fun to stay at the YMCA
Me:  oh help!  come on, I know this stuff.  How do you say 'with her' in Croatian?
Brain:  I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, he's a Pepper, she's a Pepper
Me & Brain:  wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too!  Be a Pepper, drink Dr. Pepper! 

It's grammar-jingle-dyslexia.  With flying monkeys and hula hoops.

If the teacher only knew what was going on in my head......

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